


i think you’d be better with someone like me

by ElasticElla



Category: The Good Place (TV)
Genre: Background Relationships, F/F, Femslash February, Season/Series 02
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-10
Updated: 2018-02-10
Packaged: 2019-03-16 09:35:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13633602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElasticElla/pseuds/ElasticElla
Summary: “Chidi already said helovesme,” Angelique says. “How are you and the little rat? Do you need help? A bottle of tequila?”Vicky rolls her eyes, “I already know she wants to fork me, thank you.”





	i think you’d be better with someone like me

Angelique has a smile on her face that she probably thinks is smug. It isn’t. It’s a weird mix of coyness and flatulence. Just _another_ reason Vicky is the prime actress of this job. Not that she actually wants the torturing Chidi gig back, it just would have been nice to be offered it. 

“Chidi already said he _loves_ me,” Angelique says. “How are you and the little rat? Do you need help? A bottle of tequila?” 

Vicky rolls her eyes, “I already know she wants to fork me, thank you.” 

Angelique crinkles her nose, “Human manners are so gross, they make me itchy.” 

“Mhmm, I’m gonna go make her wish there was no afterlife.” 

“You’re _way_ too much of a teacher’s pet to break rank on day nine.” 

Vicky doesn’t answer, slamming the bakery door behind her. (It fucking jingles, _jingles_. Ruins any dramatic exit.)

.

Not that Angelique would ever admit it’s a competition, but Vicky’s winning. She’s clearly the better actress and getting a selfish grub like Eleanor to care about her enough to be hurt emotionally is far harder work than stringing Mr. No-one-ever-loved-me-because-I-was-an-indecisive-jackass along. 

Eleanor’s currently trying to plan her a birthday party after learning Vicky never had one- and she knows how much Eleanor hates planning parties. (Only a babyshower would be better, next year that’ll have to happen with puppies- really ugly ones that bite too.)

Angelique is _late_ to their Sunday Sundaes. With a huff, Vicky throws out the extra chocolate cone dipped with rage. (A few hundred iterations, and those idiots still haven’t realized you can just ask Janet for ice cream instead of froyo.)

Whatever. Vicky mine as well crash Eleanor’s ‘secret’ planning to declare whatever color scheme she picked reminds her of her mother’s deathbed. 

.

Bonfire Day is a new day to this iteration of the Good Place. For the humans it means burning something symbolically important, for the demons it’s more of a vacation day. 

The central fountain has been replaced with a giant pit, flames arching higher than the surrounding buildings. It’s beautiful- if close enough to traditional hell imagery that Vicky is a little worried a new version is coming soon. Eleanor went for a walk an hour or so ago after burning pictures of her parents, and Vicky really did nicely with that. 

Angelique is standing at the edge with Chidi, joy washing over her face as he finally tosses his thesis into the fire. She’s bathed in an orange glow, could push him in so easily. 

Regrettably, Vicky has to admit Angelique is beautiful in any form. (Less regrettably, it’s probably the only reason ethics-gives-me-a-boner falls for her terrible acting.)

.

“He proposed!” Angelique squeals, cackling as she devours a flaming banana split. 

It’s fucking bullshit. Vicky hasn’t even gotten Eleanor to fall in love with her yet- maybe she should be slowing down on the minor tortures to get there quicker. And then there’s the whole ‘I don’t know why I just don’t love you back’ arc. She still hasn’t decided on the finishing touch between ‘oh no I’m straight except for maybe Tahani’ or ‘don’t worry, we’re soul mates, it’ll happen naturally… some millennia’. Either way, it ends with an adorable platonic marriage that Eleanor will absolutely despise.

And here Angelique is with her chunk of ugly too-bright charcoal, already moving her human into matrimonial anxiety. 

“How nice,” Vicky finally says. 

Angelique laughs, smoke pouring through her nose, “Maybe you should have stayed being Diana the pizza lady.” 

Vicky doesn’t correct the name, is going to make the little upstart demon pay for that. 

.

Chuck bites a chunk of Chidi’s soul out, and the entire neighborhood has to be rebooted. Chuck is sent back to the traditional Bad Place, and more than a few demons are muttering about acting out to be sent home.

No one suspects Vicky put him up to it. 

.

Michael stands before them, silly human suit rumpled. “Alright, so #332 didn’t go so well. #333 is going to be the one- I can feel it guys! Eleanor’s soulmate is a _dog_ , Jessica will be playing Tahani’s soulmate- an ex-lover of Kamilah, Nina and Bart will be Chidi’s soulmates, and Jason’s soulmate will be Tomas. Angelique and Vicky are hosting the welcoming party in the mansion, let’s make these four suckers more miserable than ever!” 

Everyone cheers, mostly because his speech was shorter than usual, and Angelique catches Vicky’s eye. She’s smirking, and _fuck_ \- she knows. 

.

Like any decent demon, Angelique holds it over her for a few weeks with little hints and subtleties that other demons chalk up to acting, and the humans think is flirting. (For once, the humans might not be entirely wrong.)

Vicky’s laying in front of their fireplace, naked on the bearskin rug. It isn’t nearly the same as a soot bath, but she is getting a few jumping embers and the whole room smells like smoke. It’s the closest she can get without actually setting the house on fire, she’ll take it. 

She’s just about to drift off to sleep when a hand slaps her awake. 

“You’ve been a bad girl Vicky.” 

Laughing, she kicks out, foot colliding with Angelique’s midsection nicely. “You sound like a human. Going soft?” 

Angelique isn’t smiling though, “I had so many torture scenarios ready for Chidi. Can you imagine the wedding planning- just picking out a cake would have taken weeks!” 

“I weep for you,” Vicky says. 

Angelique shrugs, “You will.” 

Vicky snorts at that, “Not in this century. You still have difficulties torturing some of the humans, and you think you’re ready for me?” 

“Maybe not,” Angelique admits. “But I’m willing to try. Janet!” 

Janet pops in, handing her an ominously large and opaque bag. “The items you requested. Can I-”

“Get lost,” she says, and Janet pops out. 

Vicky’s a little more curious now, this was obviously planned and Angelique waited for her afternoon fireside nap. While she doesn’t often consider herself a masochist- sadism is simply more fun- she can certainly see the appeal in laying back and letting another put in all the effort.

“The reason this will work, my darling Victoria,” Angelique says, “is because deep down, you know you deserve this. You’ve always just _adored_ getting what you deserve.” 

And oh, Vicky thinks, excitement racing up her spine- Angelique might have a better handle on this than she anticipated.


End file.
